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All relationships have challenges and conflict, however sometimes these conflicts can move into the realm of abuse. How do we know when a relationship is abusive, what is abuse and what can we do if we are in an abusive relationship or if we have a friend of family member in one?
It is not always obvious when you are in an abusive relationship. Often, we think abuse as being physical abuse, however abusive relationships can also be emotional abuse, financial abuse and sexual abuse. The Family Law Court of Australia defines abuse in relationships as family violence. They state that family violence means violent, threatening or other behaviour by a person that coerces or controls a member of the person’s family, or causes the family member to be fearful; and a child is exposed to family violence if the child sees or hears family violence or otherwise experiences the effects of family violence.
Some signs of an abusive relationship can include:
- Physical or sexual assault
- Stalking
- Taunts or put downs
- Possessiveness
- Threats
- Denying financial support
- Damaging or destroying property
- Depriving liberty
Abusive relationships can also be between partners, it can be child abuse or neglect; it can be parental abuse or sibling abuse.
What can happen in an abusive relationship is that the person who is experiencing the abuse, can start to feel down about themselves, their self-worth and confidence can decrease or they can start to experience depression or anxiety. Sometimes they can start to feel as though it is their fault or give justifications for their partner’s behaviour or be afraid to leave because of what they fear their partner’s reaction will be.
If you believe you are in an abuse relationship, it is recommended you speak to a professional like a counsellor who knows how to help you identify family violence. Head to health website as it s a great place to start to get some information on abuse and direction on services in your area.
If you think a family member or friend may be in an abusive relationship, make a time to talk them privately. Share with them your concerns and highlight examples of what you have observed. Suggest to them to see a counsellor or could speak to the Domestic Violence Liaison Officer at their local Police Station. They may not be wanting to do anything straight away, so offer your support and know that your conversation may be a stepping stone to them seeing the abuse and doing something about it.